The Most Interesting Person in the World...

Who occupies the vast majority of your thoughts? Whose miseries are the most painful to you? Whose luck is the most important to you? Who's flaws are the most worrisome to you. Who do you worry most of your worries for? Who's good fortune do you celebrate the most? Who do you feel sorry for the most?

Whose happiness do you spend all your time and energy on?

If you said, "Me!", congratulations. You're in good company (much more important than if someone else is in good company, I'm sure). We humans really do spend a lot of time on our selves. Even the most generous and giving among us still dwell on their own problems and wants the most. In fact, it frightens us when we think our happiness is unattainable, and it fills us with joy to get what we want. Life is the "Story of Me" for nearly every human on Earth, and we all sit on the edges of our seats, hoping the story will turn out the way we want.

But here's the thing: when it comes to your power to generate happiness, and relieve misery, YOU are the person you are LEAST equipped to serve. Think about it. How many times do you have to tell yourself you're a wonderful person to get the same degree of satisfaction that you would get from another person telling you this? Nothing moves us like a sincere appreciation of our self. A momentary look from a person we find attractive can have us feeling good all day, when staring in the mirror (no matter how approving the face you make) is likely to only lead to dissatisfaction, as the fear that our faults will barre us from happiness.

When we give our interest to ourselves, in other words, it only yields a tiny percentage of the happiness we get when we give our interest to others. And the thing of it is, since we all are grateful for the interest given to us (sincere interest), we generate a great deal more interest in our own self by devoting our attention to others. It's a bit counter-intuitive, really. Most of the time, the more we pay attention to a thing, the more we get out of that thing. However, when it comes to the self, we get more by diverting our attention to other selves, and forgetting ours entirely.

Give it a try, and you will see. Forget yourself intentionally for a day, and devote your attention to others. Make your priority the happiness of your spouse, your lover, your child, your neighbor, anyone but you. The satisfaction that will ultimately come to you will be more than you could ever dream of giving yourself.

Jim