Emotional Hostility

As a species, we do pretty well when it comes to curtailing our violent impulses. I know this seems strange to say, in light of all we see on the news, but those stories are the exception. When we become angry with others, we generally fight back against any more primitive urge to resort to violence. Even in traffic.

However, we are allot looser in our self-restriction when it comes to emotional hostility. Gossip, sarcasm, insults, eye rolling and qualifications in our choice of words implying something negative about the person we're addressing ("you're going to wear THAT?") are weapons in all of our social arsenals.

Now, here's a question: If emotional pain is generally considered to be worse than physical pain, why is emotional hostility less reviled than physical hostility? Understandably, physical hostility is frowned upon because of the effect it has on social order, and because it can escalate into acts which can cause irreparable harm or death. However, for anyone who has been verbally bullied or degraded (especially as a child) we know the damage from spoken violence can be just as long lasting.

One of my favorite movie quotes is from the film "Talk Radio", in which Barry Champlain (played by Eric Bogosian) states:

Sticks and stones
May break my bones,
But words
Cause permanent damage.

I think it's important to consider the effects our words can have, and how little we gain from the hurt they cause, when anger or other hostility-provoking emotions take hold of us.

Jim